Choice and Relational Safety
Picture: A Curiosity Hubber working on a self-directed sewing project earlier today.
Helen Murray
Today, I felt a real moment of joy watching our Curiosity Hub participants revisit and shape their own ground rules for the group. Today they explored verbal and non-verbal communication through discussion and opinion-finding games, practising how to notice each other’s comfort, set boundaries, express their needs and explore difference in fun ways. Moments like this remind me that safeguarding is not only about rules or procedures - it’s about creating spaces where children can exercise agency, learn relational skills, and develop confidence in themselves and others.
At Waymakers, safeguarding is about care, clarity, and shared responsibility. It’s also about thinking carefully about the words we use — particularly the word 'safe' — because safety is relational, context-dependent, and experienced differently by each person.
What it means to feel safe
Feeling safe does not always mean the absence of challenge. Children and adults bring their own histories, experiences, and sometimes trauma into every environment. A child may feel unsettled even in a thoughtfully held space. The discomfort may come from personal experience, not the environment itself. Recognising this helps us respond with curiosity and care, rather than hastily labelling a space as unsafe.
We also pay attention to language. At Waymakers, we try to distinguish between real risk — situations that require action — and the everyday differences, frustrations, or learning moments that are part of exploring and relating together. Using words like 'safe' thoughtfully models for children how to notice, reflect, and communicate their experiences with nuance.
Guiding values in practice
Our guiding values are at the heart of everything we do. We work with lots of different families and facilitators and create different ways to engage with Waymakers and the wider home education community. Our guiding values aim to support children and adults in feeling respected, included, and supported. Safety is more than procedures; it is about the quality of relationships, clarity of expectations, and shared understanding.
In our weekly sessions, we are embedding consent-based, neurodiversity-affirming practices to help children feel comfortable. This includes offering choice and agency, respecting personal boundaries, encouraging reflection and discussion about feelings and needs, and supporting children to notice and respond to others’ comfort, and encouraging them to ask themselves 'what do I and others need?'
These practices allow children to practice self-advocacy and empathy in a supported environment. The skills they develop - noticing their own needs, understanding others’, negotiating boundaries, can be carried into other spaces with confidence.
Supporting children and adults
Children are most at ease when adults are confident, supported, and clear in their roles. Facilitators hold children relationally, helping them explore while respecting boundaries. Shared responsibility is essential. Parents’ insight into their children’s needs complements facilitators’ skills and requires trust between adults to allow decisions to be made thoughtfully, so children can thrive.
Raising a concern thoughtfully
An actual safeguarding concern should be raised when there is clear evidence of harm or risk, such as physical injury, persistent distress linked to treatment by an adult or peer, or repeated patterns suggesting potential risk.
The first step is usually to speak directly to the lead facilitator. If that feels difficult or you don't feel it's helped, another trusted member of staff can become involved. Waymakers’ formal safeguarding policy exists to ensure concerns are handled responsibly, children’s needs are met, and adults are supported.
Clarity, reflection, and relational practice
Safeguarding works best when everyone communicates openly, reflects carefully, and distinguishes between genuine risk and ordinary challenge. Our spaces are not designed to remove all discomfort - learning, playing, and relating naturally involve negotiation and occasional frustration, but to provide children with consistent support, clear boundaries, and opportunities to practice advocacy and empathy.
In summary
Safety is relational and carefully considered; it is not a feeling alone. Not every difficulty is a safeguarding concern; context matters. Shared responsibility between parents and facilitators is essential.
Children benefit from consent-based, neurodiversity-affirming practices that support them, at their own pace, to learn to advocate for themselves and notice others.
Seeing children shape their own ground rules today reminded me: true safety grows from clarity, reflection, trust, and care — not just rules or policies, but real relationships. I felt honoured to be part of their explorations of how they want their group to operate.
